Essay Instructions: Instructions:
Essays should be 1,000 words.
Your papers will be your own critical reading of the assignments and, where appropriate,
your commentary on a primary source. While proper footnoting (Chicago Manual of Style,
http://www.chicagomanualofstyle.org/home.html) is expected, the assigned reading should
be adequate and extensive research will not be necessary. If you are uncertain about the
format of your papers, please consult your TA.
Prompt:
How has geography or the physical environment affected the politics, culture and economic development of the early civilizations of Mesopotamia, Egypt, and Indus Valley.
This is what the TA said about the essay:
I would like to dedicate the remainder of this blog to essay structure, as this is a problem that frequently haunts beginning college students. Overly long paragraphs, poorly phrased thesis paragraphs and lack of focus in argumentation are all problems that seem to crop up fairly frequently. I cannot cover all of this in detail in this kind of a blog, but I would like to talk about it a little bit. After all, good essays are much more enjoyable to grade than poor essays ??" and you are ALL capable of good essays!
Typically, short essays like the one you are completing this week are split into 3 sections: introduction, body and conclusion. The body of the essay is the most straightforward ??" it is where you make your points, provide textual evidence and try to prove your thesis. The conclusion, at least in entry-level college courses, it usually utilized to sum-up the argument of the essay ??" restate the thesis and the major points.
In general, it is the introduction/thesis that often causes great difficulty for students. The introduction is, itself, split into three main pieces: the opening, the thesis statement, and what we call the ‘roadmap’. Now, this is a formulaic way to look at writing, and you should always experiment with these forms and find your own best method for getting ideas across. But these are still useful starting techniques. Let’s break it down a bit!
The OPENING is used to quickly introduce the topic of the essay. It should be 1-3 sentences long and provide any basic background needed for the essay. Let’s say I am comparing CATS and DOGS as pets (wow, Moe, what a great example! So creative!). I might use these sentences to point out some basic information: both have long been domesticated, there are many lovers of both animals, care for these pets has many similar techniques, or whatever else, as long as it is relevant to the essay. The goal here is to ease into the thesis of the paper so that it does not seem to drop out of the sky. There is, however, a tendency amongst students to make these openings overly dramatic: “Eons ago, mankind was asked a very simply question ??" cats or dogs?! These are, without a doubt, the most noble of all animals, but which is better?” This kind of stuff is BAD for an ACADEMIC essay. AVOID, AVOID, AVOID! Keep it simple, clear and focused. You are not solving epic mysteries here, just trying to make a solid argument.
The THESIS (1-3 sentences) is, by far, the most challenging aspect of essays for young college students. I am in no way an expert in thesis writing and thus if you really are having trouble, you should contact the writing center or find help from someone better trained to assist. But, I can discuss the basics. Essentially, a thesis is an ARGUMENT, and as an argument it should be clear, unambiguous and interpretive. In other words, it should not just state a “fact” about a topic (“both dogs and cats are cute and popular”), but should provide an INTERPRETATION of that topic. This particularly gives students trouble with comparative essays because it leads to the “similarities and differences” argument. For example: “This essay will argue that cats and dogs have both many similarities and differences as pets.” This is NOT a good thesis. Why? Because it simply restates the topic/prompt. If you are asked to compare/contrast topics in a prompt, it is a given that they are similar and different; what we want is for you to CHARACTERIZE that difference. What is the essence of/reason for that difference? What may have contributed to that difference? For example: “Cats require less constant attention and thus appeal to more independently minded individuals or large families, while dogs tend to inspire the devotion of single people or couples without children ??" perhaps reflecting a lack of emotional fulfillment in such groups.” This would be a simple, but proper thesis. I make an argument of WHAT the differences are (they appeal to different groups), I CHARACTERIZE the differences (the groups seem to be based on family size) and I ARGUE a possible reasoning (emotion). Obviously, I made this up, but the point of this exercise was to show the two aspects of a good thesis.
1) MAKE AN ARGUMENT: What are you trying to prove
2) CHARACTERIZE THE ARGUMENT: Tell me, simply, why you think that is the case/on what grounds are you making that claim
Finally, the ROADMAP (1-2 sentences) is a quick overview of the body of your paper ??" in other words, how you will make your argument. It usually follows a similar, simple structure: “First I will discuss ______ ( by looking at ______), then I will discuss _______, … , finally, I will discuss _____, followed by a short conclusion.” You can deviate from this wording ??" rather you SHOULD ??" but, the basic idea of this formula is simply to tell me, quickly, what to expect for the rest of the essay.
Why is this such a good idea? FIRST, it allows me to follow your essay more easily. Sometimes, in the course of the essay, it is easy for a reader to forget where everything is leading. This way, I know what to expect from the beginning and will not be caught off guard. I will also be more patient in waiting for certain material to appear. SECOND, it helps YOU in the exact same way. If you are in the middle of writing, you can always look back and remind yourself about the main point you are trying to make. You can also ask yourself, “Hmm… is this point necessary?” and look to your thesis for the answer. Roadmapping is always a good idea because it makes the structure of the essay clear.
As for the BODY of the essay, look through some of the first week’s reading responses and my comments. The responses functioned as exercises in textual analysis and argumentation, which is essentially what the body of an essay is all about. Your essay should consist of 2-4 (or however many body sections you have) arguments like the ones you attempted in the reading response.
Preferred Resources:
1. The class textbook is Worlds Together Worlds Apart A History of the World (Beginnings to 1200) 3rd Edition Volume A. Please use this book as primary sources if you somehow have access to the book.
2. Some important reading materials so far:
The Epic of Gilgamesh for Mesopotamian civilization
Hymn to the Nile and The Qadesh Battle Inscription of Ramesses for Egyptian civilization
Bhagavad-Gita (Books 1, 10-11) for Indian/ Indush Valley civilization
Note: The assignment will be due on Friday, August 17th at 6 pm PDT via TURNITIN, please do not copy and paste from online sources. If you do not have access to the textbook, online resources are welcomed.
Thank you,
Claudio Junaidi