Essay Instructions: Hi,
I am applying for Occupational Therapy program (Master level) and the requirement is to provide a Personal Statement. I have drafted my Statement, butEnglish is not my first language, so I would like someone native speaker to have a look at it and edit it, to eliminate ESL mistakes as well as polish or may be re-word/change it.
Any remarks/suggestions or concerns from Personal Statement savvy will be appreciated.
Here is the Draft
After graduating from ..... University of Telecommunications and Informatics in 1992, I have built a successful career in telecommunications industry. Working mostly in sales and business administration capacities for large international companies I first of all enjoyed communicating with people and building relationships with them. Those skills of mine, accompanied with my ability to access a complex situation and to make a decision on how to resolve it, I consider as one of my prime strengths.
When my daughter was born in 2002, the new stage in life of our family began and the big changes have followed. We have decided to move to Canada, where I have continued working in telecommunications industry. My husband also got employed in his professional field pretty soon, and now I can say we are quite settled in Canada.
It is now, when I find it possible for myself to fulfill an old desire of mine to change my career and to get a profession which better answers my natural propensities and interests. Being the granddaughter of a doctor (my grandmother has taken part in The Second World War as the military doctor) and a daughter of the ergonomist (my mother has been working for more than 25 years as engineer-ergonomist in aviation industry in Russia), I was always interested in what they were doing. I was surrounded with medical books and magazines, which I used to read with interest. It was Russian economic situation of late 80th, which greatly influenced my decision to choose an education in engineering.
Now, being a mature person who has been working in typical office environment for almost 20 years in a row, I know from my own experience how sore neck, shoulders, back, eyes, wrists affect productivity of people at work and overall quality of their lives, if workplace is not designed ergonomically.
I also lived through my personal experience of taking care of my grandmother, who moved to us after she reached 80. She has spent her last years with us. I know how quality of life of older people with medical conditions could be improved, if their living environment is adjusted to their changing needs.
When volunteering at York Central Hospital at ICU department, I met a woman whose disabled 30-year old son was one of ICU patients. She was taking care of him for all his life. What amazed me was that she did not seem to be depressed or unhappy, she was discussing with me his swallowing difficulties and that a ?smoothy? instead of juice makes a great difference; she was smiling and joking. I realized at that moment, that living with a medical condition or dealing with it is not an ?end of life? ? it is life. And improving person?s quality of life is always worth an effort. Occupational Therapists take leadership here.
That is why I consider career of Occupational Therapist not only interesting and meaningful to me, but also socially important. I strongly believe that as OT I will be helping people, facilitating their lives, study constantly developing technologies and techniques, which allow doing it more effectively. I also believe that that is an occupation, which I will enjoy a lot.
As my undergraduate education was in technical field, I have taken courses such as Anatomy and Physiology, Introductory Psychology, Research in Psychology, Microbiology and currently I am enrolled in Statistics course.
The combination of my desire to learn, problem solving abilities and vast life and professional experience are applicable to what I believe is the role of an Occupational Therapist and would help me to provide a creative and adequately suited solution for those requiring assistance.
