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Title: admission essay

Total Pages: 1 Words: 383 References: 0 Citation Style: APA Document Type: Essay

Essay Instructions: Mainly, I would like you to edit my essay. Please make sure that there is no grammar errors. I also would like you to make this essay sounds more meaningful and smooth. Please to keep all the ideas and examples. You may kidnly modify examples to best suit the particular sentences(400 words maximum)
Following is the essay.

Question? "Based on your extracurricular activities during college ( community service, volunteer, clubs etc.), please highlight one or two of your experiences and explain how you benefited from them"

In the past two years of my college, two activities that have been most meaningful to me are skiing and cooking. Skiing made me proud of who I am. Since I am the only small Asian male in the skiing club, I firstly found it awkward as I was always the slowest person. It push me hard to begin working out arduously. I had to scarify most of my leisure time to swimming and weight lifting in order to make me physically stronger. I ultimately improved my skiing skill to be as skillful as others. It made me feel proud that trough rigourous work I eventually was able to compete with others who are physically stronger than me. Since I have been trough the arduous process, I have become one of the leaders who always support and encourage new members. The sense of winning and loosing that I had in the beginning seems to become a compassion in supporting others.
Volunteering to cook at the Ronald McDonalds House as one of the University Against Cancer members has developed my innovative and adaptive skill. Sometimes the ingredients I needed to cook Thai food were not easily to find. It was challenging because I had to find raw materials that are available in the market and at the same time do not diminish the taste of food. I also had to keep in mind that I were making food for American patients and they might not find spicy food as satisfied as I do. This has given me an adaptive skill, where I adjusted the taste of food to meet the Patients? taste preferences. Cooking also taught me the importance of teamwork. The taste of food would be greatly diminished if one of the cooking crews forgot to bring even a single ingredient. I have learnt that not only my input, but also other?s play an important role in achieving accomplishment.
Both of the activities continue to make an impact on me. I have grown as a person from what I have learnt from skiing. I am proud of who I am and I am confident to express my thoughts without feeling terrified that I am a minority student. My leadership that I have developed supports me to apply my innovative and adaptive skill to my group works.

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