That sums up her mother's life to her, and she does not want the same life for herself.

Another interesting aspect of the novel is Esther's relationship with men, many of whom represent her missing father in one way or another. Her relationship with Constantin and most of the other men in the novel is platonic, and she trusts these men with certain aspects of her personality. She "sleeps" with Constantin, but does not have sex with him, like a father figure. Dr. Gordon is also a man she can look up to like a father, but like most of the men in the novel, he is totally disinterested in Esther herself. All of these men represent her missing father, because her relationship with them is not romantic, and she confides in some of them as she would a father. Even Buddy's father acts as a father figure, and says...
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