This creates a sense of security and warmth that can ease the child's sense of anxiety. Thus Sonny is not entirely a failure as a parent -- and it could even be added that some permissive aspects of parenting, like allowing the child to choose his or her own clothing, can have positive results if done in a controlled fashion.

Sonny's authoritarian turns, however, are less successful, and are more evidence of his difficulties with the inevitable stresses and downsides to parenting than carefully though-out rules and discipline, like the hard line he takes to the boy's bed-wetting. An authoritarian style, which 'lays down the law', can feel unresponsive from the child's perspective, even when what the parent says is correct. Harsh and punitive methods that do not acknowledge the child's point-of-view can make the child feel hostile, angry, and afraid. Imagine a child who is taught that 'hitting your...
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