Self in Counselor: Know Thyself, Hulnick Addresses Essay

Self

In Counselor: Know Thyself, Hulnick addresses the laundry list of ideal psychological concepts:

"authenticity, unconditional positive regard, empathy, accuracy in our communications, the ability to express oneself, increased awareness, focus on the NOW, action modes of dealing with problems, psychological independence, the need for healthier concepts, movement toward self-actualization, openness to life's experience, self-worth, meaningful research, a mature value system in general, a spiritual value system in particular, and most importantly, the need for continual, unceasing work on one's own growth" (Hulnick, 1977, pp. 69-70).

While a person with all those qualities may exist, I have not met him/her. Hulnick is wise to speak of the process in which a person gradually attains and enhances those vital qualities while working to become as effective a counselor as possible. The term "process" seems so scientific, (it makes me think of "processed cheese"), that I prefer the term "becoming." I possess all those qualities to some degree but also certainly lack every quality to some degree. That is perfectly fine, because I am consciously "becoming." Am I becoming a person who is stronger in each of those positive qualities? Yes, and to that extent, my sense of self is congruent with the qualities and characteristics of a professional counselor.

In retrospect, quite a bit of my youth was spent learning a little about myself, then backing off a lot, then learning a little about myself, then backing off a lot, which makes for an interesting conversationalist with little true depth.People involved in casual conversations with me during that time would readily tell you that I am "deep"; they were mistaken, fooled by my ability to socialize well and simply make statements that would sound deep. My greatest step toward self-knowledge came with what Hulnick calls "forgiving" myself but what I call the more positive step of "accepting the package of who I am." At long last, I eventually accepted this "package" of a person who is one great person in some respects but a deeply flawed person in other respects. Until actually doing it -- accepting the package -- I did not know how tough it is and how liberating it is. Once I accepted that package, knowing that those flaws are not just temporary anomalies that aren't really me and knowing that they will not be easily outgrown or shed, I was ready to learn about this loveable/awful person. I was not ready to truly learn about myself even a single second before accepting that package. What's more, I keep realizing that the….....