Manners and Social Skills Living Term Paper

Manners are not just so that people can fit into high society; manners are required in any social setting. Parents have the unique ability to teach manners to children because children are born with a desire to please their parents, even if they are not born with a desire to learn social skills. (Heins) Manners are actually based on love, concern, and empathy, not social status. Children learn manners from parents (and other guardians and role models) through observing and modeling themselves after the behavior of others, as well as through receiving instruction, suggestions, and reminders about their social behavior. Teaching children to consider other people's feelings is important. Table manners are important because of the significance of eating meals together in our culture. Telephone and message-taking manners are important because communication is vital to so many aspects of life, and it could put the child in danger if he or she says the "wrong" thing to a stranger on the phone, or it could jeopardize the family's overall well-being if messages are not taken and delivered properly.(Heins)

The importance of proper social skills in our society could be improved by making a distinction between manners and skills. For example, there is a world of difference between the importance of a child not putting his or her elbows on the table at dinner (traditional manners), and having the ability to communicate properly (social skills). However, where this line can be drawn is difficult to say because for many members of society, traditional manners being broken is a way of indirectly communicating something negative about one's self. Regardless, parents need to play an active role in becoming confident teachers of good social skills to the children because children will follow in those footsteps, and the ability to function well in society will determine the level of success a child will reach in life.

Bibliography

Heins, Marilyn. "Manners." Parenting Strategies. http://www.parentkidsright.com/pt-manners.html

Hopper, Joan K. Quote.

Post, Emily. "Manners Survey." Emily Post Institute. Parents Magazine. August 2003. http://www.parents.com/other/pdf/mannerssurvey.pdf......