Total Length: 3600 words ( 12 double-spaced pages)
Total Sources: 5
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Grief Counseling
Experiencing loss can have a long-term effect on a person, especially if that loss is deeply personal, such as the loss of a loved one. Grief counseling thus exists to ease a person through the grief process, which is never the same for anyone. According to Jane V. Bissler, the stages of grief have been "borrowed" from the five stages of dying, yet these are not the same at all and thinking so is incorrect. Whereas with dying, a person goes through denial, anger, compromise, depression and acceptance, the stages of grief are not an exact number, or in a specific order, and will depend on what the loss consisted of. For example, some people go through anger and others through depression and some go through both. Thus, the grief process cannot be generalized. This paper will develop on the topic of grief counseling to better explain how to help those who are experiencing grief, be it in a family situation, with the loss of a child or the loss of a parent, or otherwise, and will end by reviewing psychology literature on this topic. [1: Bissler, J. (2009). "Five Stages of Grief: Myth or Consequence?" Counseling for Loss and Life Changes, Inc. Retrieved April 14, 2011, from
"Thoughts of suicide briefly enter your mind. You tell yourself you want to die -- and yet you want to live to take care of your family and honor your child's memory,"
And
"You yearn to have five minutes, an hour, a day back with your child so you can tell your child of your love or thoughts left unsaid." [5: Compassionate Friends. (2011). "To the Newly Bereaved." The Compassionate Friends. Retrieved April 14, 2011, from < http://www.compassionatefriends.org/about_us/To_the_Newly_Bereaved.aspx>. ]
This section of the letter is important, because it will make the bereaved feel understood and part of a community that can help him or her recover from the loss and proceed forward with life.
As seen from these quotations, the loss of a child can be especially traumatic for close family. The case described below also deals with this loss, but it is from the point-of-view of an elementary school teacher. This case is written by Patricia Witt, a principal in Georgia, about mentoring Jodi Clark, an assistant principal, so that Clark may become the new principal. Clark, who has 10 years of experience in the classroom has just experienced the death of one of her students, and was deeply affected by this event, even though the victim was not her biological child.
Witt states that she was initially unprepared to console Clark on this matter for she had not training, but that she nevertheless spent time letting Clark just cry over the loss of this child. She continues to realize that, in fact, by crying and talking both women took time to grieve and speak "through the shock of having an event like this occur." Then, the two women started focusing on the community, and what it could do to help ease the pain of the father, a faculty member, who had just lost his only child. The two women also wanted to help the students, the other teachers, and the parents grieve. Thus, they decided to call each family personally and let them know what had happened so that they may help console the father of the child in their own way. [6: Witt, P. & Clark, J. (2010). "Losing a Child, Healing a Community." Principal Magazine 58(1). ]
However, the death of a child, whether it affects the parents, a school, or a whole community, is devastating, perhaps just as saddening is the death of a parent. For a child, this can be a traumatic event that can shape his or her life forever. The Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology includes a study on the long-term effects of the family bereavement program for parentally bereaved children and adolescents. As part of this study, a randomized trial of the effects of the Family Bereavement Program (FBP), was analyzed. This program measures grief experienced by children and adolescents alike over a six-year period. The method the trial employed was selecting 244 participants from ages 8 to 16, taken from 156 families that had experienced the death of a parent. This sample consisted, according to the study, of 53% boys and 47% girls, 67% non-Hispanic White and 33% ethnic minority participants.
The families were also randomly assigned to one of two conditions: FBP (N=135) or a literature control condition (N=109). Two grief measures were also utilized: the Texas Revised Inventory Grief (TRIG) and the Intrusive Grief Thoughts Scale (IGTS). The TRIG utilizes a 21-item scale to measure "the extent of unresolved or pathological grief." It relates to two points of time, past and present, and is comprised of two subscales. The first 8-item subscale measures "feelings and actions at the time of death," and the second, 13-item subscale, measures present feelings such as "continual emotional….....