Arranged Marriages V. Traditional Dating: Which Method Essay

Arranged Marriages v. Traditional Dating:

Which Method Results in the most Successful Union?

According to Yumiko Asano, success in marriage is characterized by longevity, financial stability, compatibility and a strong commitment on the part of both the man and the woman to keep the union together. Yumiko Asano also asserts that successful marriages arise more frequently from using a matchmaker than the traditional dating method as preferred by the majority of Americans. He believes that the dating method is frivolous, and marriages that are formed by young, immature people who do not realize the commitment that is needed to make a marriage work often ends in divorce. Additionally, Yumiko Asano cites statistics that reveal that more than 40% of American marriages end in divorce, he proudly boasts that Japan's divorce is half that of America's. Mr. Asano further contends that arranged marriages lead to success since both people have a common objective: marriage, as opposed to just having fun or experiencing many partners. The belief is that since the objective is clear, both parties will work diligently to see that objective fulfilled.

It is my contention that Mr. Asano's definition of a successful marriage is extremely flawed, this may be in a large part due to varying cultural, moral and value beliefs between the Japanese and the Americans.One flaw is his argument is the definition of success in marriage. Mr. Asano's definition eludes any mention of love, respect, thoughtfulness or happiness. The genre of marriage described by Yumiko Asano seems to be unloving, mechanical, despondent and lackluster. Marriages should not be based on money alone any more than they should be based on appearance (Asano believes that Americans are preoccupied with physical characteristics). Marriages should enhance each partner's life and should be formed in love, peace and happiness, not out of convenience or for the lone sake of being married.

Secondly, the underlying assumptions of the argument presented by Yumiko Asano are extremely biased and some are false. It would be a generalization to conclude that Americans are "primarily" interested in appearance, as it would be generalizing to say that Japanese are primarily interested in money. According to a recent survey Americans cite love as the number one reason for marrying, appearance was not on the list. This is not to….....