¶ … Hell Aligheiri Dante's "Inferno" is the first of three books in Dante's classical work "The Divine Comedy." The "Inferno" pursues Dante's journey through Hell on his path to discovering God. He begins at the bottom Hell in sin, and must fight his way to the top through a variety of adventures, where lovely Beatrice awaits him in Paradise. In modern times, Dante's work is still quite applicable, because there are many people who deserve to reside in Hell. Instead of nine circles, today there are three -- High Hell, Middle Hell, and Deepest Hell. High Hell is reserved for those who have sinned, but not critically.

The punishment in High Hell would be similar to Dante's labyrinth, but a great beast would not guard it. Howard Stern would guard it, and his continual and never-ending comments would be audible throughout the labyrinth. There is no exit from this labyrinth, and there is no moving between levels. Once you have reached Hell, and been assigned to your level, there is no moving or changing position. Lucifer still presides over Hell, but each level has its' own master or guard. This labyrinth would be elaborate, but laid out in deep sand that is difficult to plod through. There are an amazing number of twists and turns, and no matter how far the inhabitants of High Hell get into the labyrinth, there is no end, and no solution to the maze.

Middle Hell is a series of physical and mental challenges that never end. Those who end up in Middle Hell spend the rest of their...

There is no end. The masters of this level are Bill Gates and his team of software engineers that designed Windows and Microsoft Word. They are devious in the challenges they design, and include so many tricks and mis-codes that some of the challenges are simply unsolvable. People here are baffled by the complexity of the simplest challenges, and spend their lives frustrated and irritated, with no way to access any other challenges, as the masters have a monopoly on creating ever more challenging puzzles and tests.
Deepest Hell is reserved for the very worst people on Earth, and it is presided over by Osama bin Laden and his henchmen. Deepest Hell is the hottest, the worst, and the most evil level, and it contains a fire pit, a huge bed of hot coals, New York City sewage, and a pig farm. Residents on this level must make their way from the pit, over the coals; wade through the sewage and on to the pig farm, with no rest, and no end. Inside the pig farm are vicious wild pigs, and a pig wrangler, who is Lucifer himself. People must live, sleep, and eat with the pigs, and then begin their journey all over again. The pig farm is a special holding area for Muslim (and any other) terrorists, who abhor pork and pigs. Their journey begins and ends in the pig farm.

Each level has special attributes, and there are levels of sin that will land a person on each level. Howard Stern, and media people like…